Ah yes.. The age where half your friends are married, starting families and the only time you're lucky to see them is their kids birthday parties. While the other half of your friends spend their weekends overindulging in alcohol, dancing the night away, and staying up way past your bedtime. On top of that, so many of us have become more aware of politics. We begin to take strong stances and sometimes our views are the polar opposite of those we thought we’d be best friends forever with or even our closest family members.
So, what do you do?
When you just want a girlfriend to go have dinner with and call it a night, but you’ve grown so far apart you’re not sure you’ll have anything in common anymore. Someone, tell me, WHAT DO YOU DO?
What do you do when you’re desperately trying to limit your life of boozey activities, and fill it with healthier things when it feels like the whole world is out getting wasted?
What do you do when you’re married and your single friends don’t invite you to hang anymore?
What do you do when you're single and your married friends don't invite you over anymore?
What do you do when you see your friends getting together for mommy and me dates with their kiddos and somehow a rush of jealousy comes over you?
What do you do when you're a full-time single mommy and craving a movie night with your girls, but you haven't seen them since the baby was born over a year ago?
HOW DO YOU FIND COMMON GROUND?
Are you wondering how you got here?
Are you wondering how easy it is to drift apart from those you STILL love so much.
Are you wondering why rekindling friendship or any relationship is so damn hard?!
I’ll be honest I’ve had about a dozen different best friends throughout my life.
Life changed so rapidly for me, I used to change rapidly with it. Honestly, I don’t know how I kept up with myself. I went from, phases of eating disorders, drug holes, health kicks, working 5 jobs at one time, periods of loss and so much grief, going from LA living and gogo dancing to obsessive bouts of Christianity, focusing fully on my career, to marrying the man of my dreams. And that’s just to name a few. HAHA!
During each and every phase of my life, I had a different incredible person by my side to experience the good, the bad, and the magic of each moment with. Every person who went through those times with me knows me like no one else ever will. But the problem is, they knew THEN. They don’t know me now. I continued to rapidly change, faster than anyone I’ve ever known. As soon as I got bored with something in life, I’d move on. Reinvent myself, get a new job, move to a new place, find a new kind of music to listen to, find a new style, find a new obsession.
So maybe, it’s my downfall for being an all or nothing person, from going from one extreme to the next, for having zero sense or need for balance, for seeing a goal, running for it, achieving it and moving the hell on! Maybe people can’t keep up.
So, shout out to those that have!!! They say if a friendship lasts more than 7 years, it will last forever and I definitely have some proof of that. Shout out to those who never stopped supporting me no matter how insane my adventures, dreams and goals have been. But most importantly, thank you for loving me unconditionally, you’re the real MVP.
Bottom line is, our late 20s can be hard no matter what stage of life you’re in.
Because right now, everyone you grew up with is most definitely NOT in the same stage of life. Many of us are all finally figuring out who we are and what we are truly passionate about. Many of us are starting to take off our booze goggles and see a life a little more clearly. Some of us have 3 kids, some of us are in college, and some of us are doing the exact same thing we were doing at the age of 21. My point is, we’ve got to accept each other for who we are, and continue to love and care for one another.
Don’t forget about those who have been there for you. You won’t always have everything in common, but you will always have the common ground that your connection was born on. Don’t forget to tell the ones who’ve been a part of your life that they still are, even if you don’t know what the hell to talk about anymore. Friendships take work, just like any other relationship.
FRIENDS AND FAMILY, I take full responsibility for slacking on the work! This is one of my biggest goals of 2017. To those who think I haven’t tried, I am sorry. To those who think I don’t want you in my life, it’s most likely not true! If you ever need a hug, a home cooked meal, a job reference, a second opinion, a ride or favor of any kind, or even just someone to sit in comfortable silence with, TRUST ME WHEN I SAY... I AM HERE, AND I LOVE YOU!